expectations

If we do not know it already... here goes again,

"EXPECTATION is a setup for DISAPPOINTMENT."

Not all will agree. I've met/know people who are optimistic... some pessimistic... and some in between. I guess you could call me realistic. I've learnt long long ago about expectations/anticipations. The more we anticipate, the greater the disappointment/anger/whatever negative emotion that you want to insert here...

However, let's take a step back and ask ourselves, "Why do we 'expect' certain things to turn out in a certain way?" For example, consider this scenario. You and a friend. You have always been caring and supportive of your friend. However, suddenly, when you needed that to be reciprocated, it didn't happen. Disappointed? Sure do. Happy? No! And we like to rationalize with ourselves. We'll give all sorts of excuses. Then when it happens one time too often... we slowly become jaded...

Are we selfish to expect something? It could be because we tend to have an idealized view and thus developed an unrealistic view of things. Then no need to expect anything? Unlikely.

There will always be expectations. Parents' expectation that their child will perform well academically. Our expectation that our friends will be there for us. Citizen's expectation that their government will take care of them.. etc etc. It could be viewed as a yardstick of measurement. A strive for a better future. There is expectation on me, and therefore I will strive to achieve it.. provided I have the resources to do so. On the other hand, when we get disappointed/angry.. let's ask ourselves.. "What made me angry? Was it the other person? Or was it my 'expectation' of the other person." Often times, even when we're angry with our 'expectation' of others, the other party won't know it. We never say, "I'm not angry with you. I'm just angry with my expectation/anticipation and things didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Very often, the other party will perceive the anger/disappointment as directed to them and as such, likely to become defensive.

Be aware.