for what

A question that kept on replaying itself. Looks hypothetical. Surreal. Answerless. At least, for me there is no answer.

But there is a saying, "If you want it, there are hundreds and thousands of reasons.. likewise, if you don't want it, there are also hundreds and thousands of reasons." Like the another saying (perhaps Chinese?), "Angel is you, devil is also you."

But still... there is no purpose. Why flog a dead horse. If it is impossible to happen, then why put in effort in the first place? Self-hypnotism? Just to convince ourself that at least had tried? What good is that? The outcome is still the same.

Counsellors always tell people to engage in more positive self-talk. Seems like I'm going the opposite direction. Such vicious cycle! But it is hard to be positive nowadays. Not when bad news, or certain reality stares at you straight in your face.