penny for your thoughts

We had an interesting session yesterday night, initiated by the only guy in the group, where everyone was to describe him/herself in 3 words. It was kind of tough to describe your chums when asked point blank, because it's not something that you would consciously think about, right? Like, I don't go analysing my friends and summarizing them in 3 words. Or maybe, everyone should start looking into that? Hmmm.

But the intention was useful. To know more about how others perceive us and how we perceive ourself and whether these two matches. We started off by describing ourselves in 3 words. In retrospect, is this how we viewed ourselves or rather, how we would like others to see us? Generally, I noticed that the words used in our own description of self rarely contains negative traits unless we ourselves think is obvious or, maybe we are just well-trained from school days to put in some pros n cons into our answers. Hahaa! Hey, exploring possibilities here.

Then, we have to describe the next person, and the next and so on until everyone gets a turn. It's like suddenly, you're being swarmed by 3 x 3 descriptive words that your friends think/feel characterises you. Kind of a situation that made me nervous. Being a person who cares about what others think of her, that was an apprehensive yet anticipated moment. It's like your report card being read out, in front of the whole class!

So what did my this group of close friends described me as? 3 words. "Temperamental, Stubborn/Defensive, Kind"

Haha, I think that was NOT what I was hoping for. Two traits on the negative range out of three. Time to do some serious reflection!

Now that the perceived image is somewhat not matching to the intended projected image, so how do I reconcile that, or is there a need to reconcile the differences?

There is a phrase from Shakespeare "As You Like It", and to quote a portion of it, "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts."
 
Since we are acting out our parts in life, and there are many stages in life, we will come across as different permutations of characters and traits in all the different stages in life, in various contexts. Though, I believe, that there is a core that is consistent, and this will show no matter how hard the person tries to mask it. The subconscious of the human has a depth that remains largely unexplored, but some of this may rise to the surface every now and then. And this subconsciousness is continously formed through past experiences. [Carl Jung]

As I'm perceived as temperamental, does it affect the relationship? It could be tiresome to be in contact with someone temperamental. Or, on the other hand of the spectrum, it could also mean that this person is comfortable enough to show certain emotions without filtering it off first. Haha, or this could just be my self delusion. Maybe I just think too highly of myself. That does sound self-absorbed! Tsk tsk. Repent!

Ok. Awareness is the first step to any change. And change is a choice. And to make that choice, there are 5 points of consideration. But that itself, is another topic.

Till then, we just have to keep on exploring, living our lives and keep an open mind on the feedback.