was it pride? was it selfishness? was it self-righteousness?

Saw today's episode of Life Navigator (从心开始) on Channel 8. Today showcased a story about a man who was addicted to gambling and alcohol, and whom subsequently borrowed more money from loansharks to sustain his habit, and ended up with him leaving the family to fend for themselves while he hide in Indonesia.

Now, he is old and penniless, and without a roof over his head. He sued his kids for maintenance and won the case.

I was quite amazed by the image that he presented. Throughout the programme, he remained defiant and proclaimed that the situation that he is in, is through no fault of his. How incredible.

His argument:
1. He contributed money towards the upkeep of the family during the early stages of the marriage and when the kids were young.
2. He worked and supported the payment for the house.
3. He was neglected by his family, and hence, he sought solace in gambling and alcohol, and in later years, had another family in Indonesia!


Even as the host read out excerpts of what the wife and kids wrote about their experience as they had to bear living through the years where loansharks came knocking on their door, he did not show any remorse. When queried about having another family in Indonesia, he retorted that it was his SG family that didn't want him in the first place. I think he had an additional chip on his shoulder as his kids somehow managed to trick him into signing the ownership of the house away to them. (missed this part, but gathered this info from subsequent stuffs that the counsellor/host said)

One person who called in, shared her experience as the child of a family whose parent also owed money to loansharks and was constantly being harrassed till the loan was paid up. She said, "It doesn't matter if you had won money and treated us to a good meal, as these days will not last longer than a few days, or at most a week. The number of weeks that loansharks kept harrassing us, was unbearable!" She also said that if the parent can acknowledge the fact that he did wrong, and vowed never to gamble again and stick to the good behaviour, then likely the kids will forgive.

When asked if he would like to say anything to his kids, he said he doesn't want to. He expressed that his wish now, is to be able to attain help in terms of lodging and employment. This is understandable because if the basic necessities are not fulfilled, then it is pointless to talk about other things such as relationship etc.

However, it was very evident that the counsellors did hope for something more. More than once, the man was urged to make use of this opportunity to say something to his family, his kids.

This was what he said, "If I have a place to stay, and if you decide to come visit me. I am acceptable to reconcilliation."

As host Quan Yifeng puts it, perhaps it is this 'stubbornness' that will help carry him, through his lonely years ahead... and I think, perhaps so.. perhaps so..

Reality of life. You reap what you sow.